|
SYMPTOM |
Beer unusually pale and tasteless. |
| FAULT |
Glass empty. |
| ACTION |
Get someone to buy you another beer. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. |
| FAULT |
Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. |
| ACTION |
Retire to gent`s room, practice in mirror. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Feet cold and wet. |
| FAULT |
Glass being held at incorrect angle. |
| ACTION |
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Feet warm and wet. |
| FAULT |
Improper bladder control. |
| ACTION |
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about her house training. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Floor blurred. |
| FAULT |
You are looking through bottom of empty glass. |
| ACTION |
Get someone to buy you another beer. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Floor moving. |
| FAULT |
You are being carried out. |
| ACTION |
Find out if you are being taken to another bar. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. |
| FAULT |
You have fallen over backward. |
| ACTION |
Have yourself leashed to bar. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Mouth contains cigarette butts. |
| FAULT |
You have fallen forward. |
| ACTION |
See above. |
|
| SYMPTOM |
Room seems unusually dark. |
| FAULT |
Bar has closed. |
| ACTION |
Confirm home address with bartender |
