Two words

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Kids, Students

It was the first day of school after summer vacation.
The kids had all arrived in the high school English class, and were chatting away, making new friends.

THEN…In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats.
The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.

After about a minute or so, he spoke…
“From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom.
You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework.
Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.

The first one is “gross”
And the other one is “cool”
Are there any questions?”

After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand, and the teacher calls upon him.
In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks… “So, what are they?”

Final Exam

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Students

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.
‘Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’

A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, ‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

The Dark Ages

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Kids, Students

Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

Peter: Because they had so many knights.

The lowest grade

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Students

A student burst into his professors office and says; “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.”

To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”