Croak

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family, Kids

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.

The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound like a frog, Grandpa? Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don’t really want to make the sound of a frog now.”

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, “Will you please make a sound like a frog?” Grandpa again says, “No, not now. I don’t really want to do that. I’m in a grumpy mood. Maybe later.”

Then the third little boy comes out and says, “Grandpa, oh please… Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?”

“Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?” Grandpa asked.

The little boy replied with a hopeful face, “Well, Mom said that when you croak we get to go to Disney World!”

They won’t let me…

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn’t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, “Hi Grandma, you’re looking good! How are they treating you?”

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, “They won’t let me fart.”

The Wong Family

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Doctor, Family

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wong’s have a new baby.

The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely Caucasian, white baby boy.

“Congratulations,” says the nurse to the new parents.

“Well Mr.Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?”

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, “well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, so I tink we name him Sum Ting Wong.

Learning From Teachers

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family, Kids

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

What should we do?

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family, Kids

One day Steve’s Mum was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting to her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home.

When Steve’s father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, “THIS is what I found in your son’s closet.”

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

After an uncomfortable minute of silence she finally asked him, “Well, what should we do about this?”

Dad looked at her and said, “Well I DON’T think we should spank him.”