Total Humour

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way.
The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.”

The little boy replied, “My Daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.”
The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many.”

The boy said, “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”
The priest, getting impatient, said, “I am the Father of hundreds.” and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
“Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.”

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding.
The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?”
The driver says, “Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!”
The cop says, “Really! Why is that?”

The driver replies, “I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I’ve only been out driving for 25 minutes.”

“Hello Mrs. Miller,” said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop.

My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks. “I’m sorry, do we know each other?” I asked.

“Yeah, you was my English teacher.”

Leaning over, my husband whispered, “Good job, Honey, good job!”