Stop your husband reading your e-mail

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Computer

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename your mail folder to “instruction manuals”

What part

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
“I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.

“Two dogs, please,” says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”

The mother superior is first to open hers.
She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers …cautiously: “What part did you get?”

The old goat

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family, Kids

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner.

While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

“Goat,” the little boy replied.

“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Pa say to Ma, ‘Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'”

Wedding cake

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Doctor

A Doctor at a health conference said
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be destructive, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”

You would have to talk to pa about that

Posted by: Joe King  /  Category: All Jokes, Family

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door.
A young boy, about 12, opened the door. “Is yer pa home?” he asked.

“No sir, he sure ain’t,” the boy replied. “He went to town.”

“Well,” said the farmer. “Is yer ma home?”

“No, she ain’t here either. She went to town with pa.”
“Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?” “No sir, he went with pa and ma.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I kin do fer ya’?” inquired the young boy politely.
“I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer pa.”

Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It’s about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.”

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to pa about that,” he finally conceded.
“I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Joe.”